[ Matrioshka ]

 

A Matrioshka é um popular brinquedo russo. O nome é extremamente comum nas zonas rurais, com origens que se confundem com o conceito de "mãe", e representa as famílias matriarcais numerosas.

Sempre disse que a nossa passagem pelo mundo é definida não pela nossa obra, mas pelo nosso legado, pela nossa descendência, e no meio de tanta paternidade imbecil que já tive oportunidade de testemunhar, há também histórias de pais verdadeiramente dignas de nota.

É com um sorriso nos lábios que ouvia o Pedro falar do Afonso. Nunca conheci o pequeno, mas as histórias de idas ao estádio do Dragão povoavam os minutos de descontracção antes de tratar com ele de burocracias bancárias. "O meu puto é um espectáculo!", contava ele com os olhos a brilhar de orgulho.

Evidente que estas burocracias são cada vez mais resolvidas com dois cliques, e sem dar por ela, passou quase um ano sem passar naquela dependência bancária, e hoje de tarde fiquei surpreendido por não ver o bem disposto Pedro na sua secretária, como de costume.

Como é que se impede um coração de partir quando se descobre que o Afonso de 4 anos, depois de 8 meses a lutar contra um cancro, já não está entre nós?

Hoje é impossível esboçar um sorriso.

The Matrioshka is a popular russian toy. The name is extremely common in rural areas, with origins that merge with the concept of "mother", and represents big matriarchal families.

I've always said that our journey in the world isn't defined by the things we do, but by our legacy, our offspring, and with so many moronic examples of parenthood I've had the chance to witness, there are also noteworthy parenthood stories.

Hearing Pedro talking about Afonso always brought a smile to my face. I never knew the little guy, but the stories of the trips to the Dragão stadium filled those relaxing minutes before taking care of bank bureaucracies with him. "My kid is great!", he used to tell with a proud glitter in his eyes.

Of course these bureaucracies are more and more solved with a couple of clicks, and without noticing, almost a year has gone by without going through that bank, and this afternoon I was surprised not to see the ever happy Pedro at his desk as usual.

How do you stop a heart from breaking when you find out that 4 year old Afonso, after 8 months battling cancer, is no longer among us?

Today, I can't even fake a smile.

[ Shame ]

 

Conhecer muita gente tem vantagens. Ganha-se pela diversidade, pelas experiências e vivências diferentes, por toda uma série de factores. Conhecendo tantas pessoas, pensa-se sempre que estamos prevenidos contra alguns erros básicos de avaliação de carácter, mas a verdade é que estamos sempre a aprender.

Hoje aprendi uma lição. Não é uma lição nova, já a conhecia de antes, mas convém sempre relembrar. Há pessoas que atingem determinados patamares sociais e financeiros não pelo seu valor próprio, ou pelo valor que dão à sua palavra, mas sim pelos ombros que usam como degraus para subir.

Boa escalada, Srs. Alpinistas. Que o oxigénio seja raro, os mosquetões sejam frágeis, as cordas corrompidas, e que o chão que vos receba depois da queda seja duro o suficiente.

Tenho dito.

Knowing lot's of people has it's advantages. You win through the diversity, through the experiences and different lives, through a whole different set of things. Knowing so many people, you always think you're safe regarding some basic mistakes of character judgment, but the truth is, we're always learning.

I've learned a lesson today. It's not a new lesson, I knew it from before, but it's always useful to remember: some people reach a given social and financial level not by their own credit, or by the credit you can give to their word, but by the shoulders they use as steps to move up in live.

Happy climbing, dear Mountain Climbers. May the oxygen be scarce, may the grappling hooks be weak, may the ropes be corrupted, and may the floor you hit after your fall be hard enough.

Enough said.

[ Trinity ]

 

O Inverno de 2006 não foi particularmente rigoroso. É por vezes incrível como nos conseguimos lembrar mais facilmente dos detalhes que nos rodeiam quando vivemos acontecimentos marcantes. Não me lembro particularmente de 2005, ou 2004, mas o Inverno de 2006 ficará para a memória...

Continuo a pensar em por que ninguém me leva a sério quando digo que nunca é tarde de mais para lutarmos pela nossa felicidade... Pode ser um cliché, mas é a minha vida. A certa altura apercebi-me de que não era feliz, e que essa falta de felicidade era algo com o qual não poderia continuar a viver. Um raciocínio longo, que durou cerca de dois segundos, e que as pessoas que me são mais próximas conhecem em detalhe.

Incrível como passamos anos sem conseguirmos inspirar fundo para depois, de repente, sentirmos que todo o mundo reage a cada passo que damos, que aquilo que pensávamos ser uma certeza, aquela mediocridade sentimental em que tantos de nós vivemos e da qual pensamos que nunca nos escaparíamos, passa a ser algo do passado, a tornar-se a cada dia mais esbatido.

Pensei durante algum tempo que aquele sentimento avassalador de um amor que nos arrebata, que faz com que as letras das canções façam sentido, aquele amor puro e idílico era apenas fruto de peças literárias inspiradoras e dos argumentos bem estruturados de filmes que aprendemos a encarar como algo inatingível, um sonho. E todos sabemos desde pequenos que os sonhos são algo a que aspiramos, e não algo que podemos tornar realidade.

Mais do que isso, fruto de um fado centenário, fruto de um espírito sofrido e profundamente português, existe também a convicção de que o grande sentimento do amor está de forma indelével ligado ao grande sentimento da dor. Aquele Amor conturbado e retorcido que faz doer, e que as mentes mais fracas pensam ser o único verdadeiro. Simples de explicar, porque quem confunde amor com dor, claramente nunca amou, ou se amou, nunca foi correspondido da mesma forma.

Aprendi com o decorrer do tempo que é mais fácil acenar com a cabeça e sorrir do que explicar ao mundo que o mundo está errado, mas hoje não. Hoje é dia do Amor.

Hoje não é dia de "cá se vai andando", ou de "enfim, cá estamos", ou de "é difícil, mas sobrevivemos", hoje é o dia em que em todo o lado se oferecem postais com corações, e se apregoa, mesmo com desconhecimento de causa, um Amor que gostaria que todos experimentassem, nem que por um segundo apenas. Hoje é o dia em que posso dizer a verdade, colocar aqui uma foto de um coração, e ser confortavelmente confundido com mais um dos loucos enamorados do dia S. Valentim.

Mesmo sem o saber, o meu sonho tornou-se realidade no dia em que os nossos lábios se tocaram pela primeira vez, meu amor, e esse é um dia que recordarei em detalhe até ao fim dos tempos. Com certeza que já experimentaram como o tempo passa de forma diferente conforme as circunstâncias. Um filme que detestamos que parece demorar quatro horas apesar de só se terem passado noventa minutos, ou um livro que adoramos e que lemos em dez horas seguidas, parecendo que só se passaram dois minutos.

As manhãs transformam-se em tardes, o sol põe-se, e só reparamos que são duas da manhã quando sentimos o toque do empregado no café no ombro a dizer "desculpem interromper, mas daqui a pouco tenho de ser eu a abrir...". Três dias separados parecem duas semanas, e de repente damos por nós a escolher estrategicamente o sítio onde nos posicionamos nas chegadas do aeroporto para nos conseguirmos ver duas décimas de segundo mais cedo.

A [ Trinity ] foi oferecida no dia 14 de Fevereiro de 2007. Três alianças entrelaçadas que significam o que deve ser a relação entre duas pessoas: Amor, Amizade, Fidelidade... O mais próximo que se consegue aproximar de quatro pilares que são nossos, e tão longe de tudo aquilo que a nossa relação significa.

Quatro anos depois, inúmeros desafios ultrapassados de mãos dadas, olhos nos olhos, e sei que o sentimento que nos une é cada vez mais poderoso. Sei que o que acontece quando os nossos olhares se cruzam, sei o que acontece quando a nossa pele se toca, sei que a única coisa que precisamos para estarmos bem é estarmos juntos.

A verdade é que, apesar da correria do dia a dia, das horas a trabalhar, e de tudo o mais de que a nossa vida é feita, tudo me parece fácil, isto porque toda a força que tenho, todo o brilho nos olhos e cada sorriso nos lábios se deve apenas e só ao facto de nos termos encontrado.

Eu amo-te. Feliz Dia de S. Valentim.

[ I Love ]

 

As life goes on, I've been noticing some really huge differences in what I love or not. Taste and experience take their toll, and all of a sudden your standards are so high that you find yourself hard to please.

This is a phenomenon widely adressed by people like Scott Schuman, or Garance Doré, that I didn't seem to believe in at first, but now, working more and more with fashion and design, I find myself being hugely critic regarding lot's of aspects of my work and the people that surround me.

A cruse or a gift? That's something I'll have to figure out as I go along...

Speaking about things I love, this is a photo taken in Paris last January in the Who's Next trade show. It's the logo of a brand called I love - Leon, turned in a magnificent way into a neon light.

[ Vintage II ]

 

Following my experiments on raw file processing, here's a little fun with a photo taken in Le Pub St. Germain in Paris, a week ago. Le Pub St. Germain is the most amazing place, a very hip restaurant open 24h a day, seven days a week. Three floors, round the clock DJ, and a constant full house. The indisputable proof that Paris never sleeps.

Artists are invited to exhibit and sell their pieces in this gorgeous location, and this is just another example of one of those artworks. A pencil drawing, embellished by the subtle grain and by the hand written number tag.

Another gorgeous thing about this place, is the way they play with the vintage light fixtures. A very soft warm light that's selectively placed and in perfect harmony with the candle lit tables, setting the mood for endless conversations, sprinkled with juicy long drinks, flavored by the fusion cuisine, and intimate, like the place itself...

[ Police ]

 

Straight from Paris, here's a scene from todays walk. It's a stick-on graffiti that's growing more and more popular here, taken in the Bastille monument.

Small detail, I've finally fully converted to raw imagery, which is a bit more time consuming in the post-processing of the photos, but gives a whole new range of possibilities in intensity, color balance and contrast. This is one of my first try outs.

It's amazing how much I've missed this gorgeous city, and how much pleasure it gives me just to walk around and capture all the small details. There are no words to describe the mood difference between Paris and Porto. Some of the Christmas lightings are still up, and you can feel the joy and positive attitude everywhere you go - a refreshing change from the ever growing crisis and weird political climate from Portugal...

[ Inspiration ]

 

 
I lost track of how many blogs and websites I follow, however, only a few selected ones fit my Safari welcome screen. The Startorialist is one of them. Check out the movie above to find out why.

[ Decisions ]

 

I suppose it's better if I start this one off with a warning: this post isn't for the faint hearted.

"Verhalte dich ruhig" was a sentence written in the walls of the bathrooms in Auschwitz - Birkenau concentration camp in Poland. It was a photo I decided a long time ago to keep out of the [ I will never forget ] post I made exactly one year ago today. That decision was simple: the scar that visit left in me was still too fresh to deal with some of the things I saw.

In an effort from the nazi troops to break the bodies of their prisoners, they soon realized that some of them appeared to have no breaking point. Starved, beaten, raped, humiliated, deprived of their identities, of their possessions, of their families, with all imaginable things lost, some of them kept proud. So, they turned to propaganda in an effort to find a breaking point in their minds since they failed to find it in their bodies.

"Verhalte dich ruhig" - "keep calm" was a part of that propaganda. "be honest", "be polite", "be obedient", "do you duties", and many many other sentences like this one were written in the walls of the complexes, in front of the 1,5m wide wooden racks where seven prisoners slept, inside the holes in the ground they called bathrooms, inside the gas chambers.

"Maybe that would break them", "maybe the beatings weren't enough to make them realize that their situation was actually their fault", "if we can't break their bodies, we can break their minds", "everybody has some sort of breaking point"... They finally learned that even then some prisoners have decided that their souls, their courage, their very heart were things that no aggression, physical or psychological torment was able to break, so they turned to the only solution left for these people that didn't have breaking points: death.

This photo was taken only nine days before my life changed. After that, 430 days of challenges, questions, riddles, mind games, pressures, issues, problems, things to solve, things to figure out, things to learn, having keep happy, keep smiling, keep everybody else smiling, keep strong, keep calm, "verhalte dich ruhig"...

Now, after the first battle, a big decision has to be made. Should I lower my arms, accept and find some comfort in the words those fucking quitters whisper in my ears saying "it could be much worse", or should I pick myself up, dust myself off, lick my wounds and embrace another 430 days just like the ones I left behind?

Simple decision for most guys, except... I don't have a breaking point.

[ 12 wishes ]

 

I look at new year wishes like I look at the lights of a chandelier. At first they're all bright and steady, and after a while some of them start flickering, some of them burn out, leaving only a few at the end of the year, sometimes hardly even enough to light the room, or in this case, your life, the way you intended it to.

I didn't make 12 wishes for 2010, I made three simple ones, and none of the lights were burned out on December 31st. Was it a good year? Well, it depends on the way you define 'good'.

I guess most people mix up a 'good' year with an 'easy' one, and that just doesn't work for me. Last year was probably the hardest year I ever lived through, but I survived. The challenges were enormous, but I survived. The sadness kept trying to creep in, but I still wake up with a smile on my face every single day. The worries surrounded me at all times, but I never lost a single moments sleep, so if I think carefully, it wasn't a bad year.

Although 2011 is still a big question mark to me, the direction is set, and I wont stop at anything. 2011 is going to be a year of great changes, another hard year, but, unlike 2010, it's not going to be a year of questions, it's going to be a year of answers.

I made 12 wishes for 2011, and I'm going to make sure the 12 of them come true.

[ Happy New Year ]

 

[ Happy Holidays II ]

Another year goes by, and as always, the search for the perfect Christmas Greeting begins. I've been thinking about it for about a month, and suddenly, while putting up our Christmas decorations at home, it all became clear.

This is our Christmas star, hanging proudly in our living room, and the light effect it gives out in the wall is so absolutely gorgeous, and pretty hard to be faithful to it when trying to capture it on camera.

I couldn't be prouder of the result. Here is the original photo: 

And this is the way it turned out after some graphic composing:

Merry Christmas to all of you.

[ Happy Birthday Edit Mag ]

I've talked about Edit Mag before. They throw the original Edit Hours events every now and then (by the way, the next one will be on December 2nd), an opportunity for the fans and staff to get together in a relaxed environment, talk for a bit, and above all, have great fun!

This post is actually way overdue, considering they celebrated their first birthday on September 30th! Well, I'm tired of saying how crazy these past few months have been, so I wont say it again, and I guess it's better late than never...

So, about the party: like the magazine itself it was superbly organized and original. Francisco really took advantage of the venue, placing the fashion show in the overhead windows...

... and of course, the beautiful people having a great time...

... the Hotel da Estrela at it's best, with the lighting fixtures giving it a cool abstract look...

... and above all, a huge funny night to remember.

Happy Birthday Edit Mag!

[ Pipe ]

 

Can you believe the craftsmanship that went into this stencil? I really can't stop looking at it and enjoying all the small details, the depth, the texture, and amazing work of art.

Yes, graffiti can be an art form, I won't get tired of trying to demonstrate it!

[ Broken ]

 

Amazingly, this was taken in the very heart of Porto. A gutted broken down old house.

Wind blows through it, shakes it, puts it to the test, and yet, it still stands. Rain pours down, soaking the plaster fitted walls, and yet, it still stands. The scorching noon sun burns through it, and yet, it still stands. People walk by, move to the opposite sidewalk, and say "this should be brought down", and yet, it still stands. Sometimes is looses pieces, it gives in just enough to become stable again, and keeps on standing...

Why? For what reason? Why doesn't it just give in to the overwhelming gravity that pulls it relentlessly to it's demise? Maybe because some things, just like some people don't know how to give up. It's not in their nature. It doesn't make a difference if it's a hard day or an easy one, if we're happy or if we're sad, if we feel like the sun is going to shine again, or if we feel like it's going to slip away in an never ending eclipse, it's just up to you and your strength.

Even in the darkest hour, you know that light will shine again. And the people that walk by and say it should be brought down, may they life long and strong, to witness your glorious victory in helpless despair.

[ Just breathe ]

 

"Yes I understand that every life must end, aw huh,..
As we sit alone, I know someday we must go, aw huh,..
I’m a lucky man to count on both hands
The ones I love,..

Some folks just have one,
Others they got none, aw huh,..

Stay with me,..
Let’s just breathe.

Practiced are my sins,
Never gonna let me win, aw huh,..
Under everything, just another human being, aw huh,..
Yeh, I don’t wanna hurt, there’s so much in this world
To make me bleed.

Stay with me,..
You’re all I see.

Did I say that I need you?
Did I say that I want you?
Oh, if I didn’t now I’m a fool you see,..
No one knows this more than me.
As I come clean.

I wonder everyday
as I look upon your face, aw huh,..
Everything you gave
And nothing you would take, aw huh,..
Nothing you would take,..
Everything you gave.

Did I say that I need you?
Oh, Did I say that I want you?
Oh, if I didn’t now I’m a fool you see,..
No one know this more than me.
As I come clean.

Nothing you would take,..
everything you gave.
Hold me till I die,..
Meet you on the other side."

Video and lyrics by Pearl Jam

[ Three chairs ]

 

"Please leave your message after the bip"

Yeap, that's it, this a pre-recording. By the time you read this, three chairs will be taken, and important decisions will be made. I suppose they wont be comfortable or classy like these ones (taken in the last OPorto Show), but hey, that's life.

It's a strangely calm felling this one... "today is that scary tomorrow that we were afraid of yesterday", someone once said, and I guess, that's the bottom line: life goes on. Like I said last friday, green light, white light, red light, I don't even care, I just care about the future - and that can be proven in so many different ways, for example, I distinctly remember a photo my parents took of me looking back over my shoulder with a funny face, when I wasn't even one year old. On the back of that photo it reads "so young, and you can already see he doesn't like looking back".

Bring it on.

[ Batman ]

 

Back to the urban art, to take a look at some other pieces found in the Miguel Bombarda area.

This one, the funniest interpretation ever of a aging Batman with a "walker cane". Maybe that's it, maybe maybe our heroes are getting old, and no one cares, and no one steps up to take their place.

Maybe this general lack of believe is what caused the golden stencil in the bottom that bravely states "fuck it" - a state of mind that I deeply share in this last few days. A state of mind that is simply natural in me, considering that I've always believed that it's much better to make a bad decision than not to decide at all. If that is one of the features of a leader or of a martyr, I guess I'll only know it in the after life, but I do know that's who I am, so... "fuck it", and bring it on.

[ Vintage ]

 

We can finally appreciate some gorgeous vintage details in otherwise clean looks. For some reason, I'm always in the lookout for contrasts, seeking something that is subtly out of place, even though it looks like it was made to be there.

This is the case, in the Quarto de Cima store in Porto. Gorgeous vintage lamp, used as a lighting fixture, on top of a dry wall. Beautiful.

[ Zurich ]

 

This time our trip to Cannes took us through Switzerland, in an eye catching airport. Maybe not as cool as [ Barajas ], but still, quite a masterpiece, running smooth as a clock.

Wednesday, with a few hours to spare, I got to enjoy the architecture of the terminal, the details, and also get some quiet work done on the vast and comfortable waiting rooms.

Zurich already had a funny story with me, being stopped in the x-ray control about two year ago, on my way to Ljubljana, because of a metal pen clip, used to secure a pen to the back of a Moleskine notebook, but more like a life threatening object on the x-ray machine... It made such a success with the airport security, I almost lost my flight, passing from hand to hand with a smile and a "this is really very clever!". Another one of those traveller stories...

[ Green light ]

 

Over a month since I've published something here. I confess it's been one of the craziest months ever, with a big decision postponed to November 10th, lots of small battles along the way, lots of unanswered questions, and lots of answered ones too...

Maybe everything will change in five days. Maybe everything will be the same. Maybe there's a green light ahead, maybe there's a red one, or a white one. Maybe, if you look carefully enough, what you think is just a misguided traffic light, can be something a lot more challenging and interesting.

Life really has it's twists and turns, but as someone once told me: "everything happens for a reason". Sometimes the reason takes a long time to show it's face, but it always happens, sooner or later... After a one year long question mark, I can't say I'm not eager to turn it into a period, but I can say that no matter what the outcome is, the day will still dawn afterwards, bread will be baked, newspapers will be printed, and life will go on.

Whether it's green, red or white, at least there will be light, and where there's light, no darkness can prevail.

Welcome back to Light Persists.